Dreaming Our Existance
by JigsXInk
Summary: Author inserts have been around since fanfiction began. What's the worst, though, is a poorly written author insert. Sometimes like a typical HiE fic. When a plot line becomes so common that it is its own genre, we have a problem. Everyone is the chosen one. Everyone gets paired up with Rainbow Dash. The story becomes truly predictable. However, I never actually expected this. R
1. Chapter 1: Not Really a Chapter

**A/N: Here I am, trying my hand at MLP:FiM fanfiction. I haven't written many fanfics before but I do dabble in independent writing. So, here we are, staring at a glowing screen to see if this fic is worth the read. I've kept it under wraps for months but I've worked up the courage to post the prologue. It pains me to post something under 1,000 words but more is already written and ready. Without further ado, _Dreaming Our Existence._**

* * *

My heart beat violently against my chest. The throbbing raced up through me and invaded my brain. My body was wracked with aches. It was like I'd been stretched apart and squished up and moulded all over again. Not pleasant.  
I heard people, but dimly. Not like I was passing out; it was more as if they were behind a wall or down a hallway. I wasn't sure if the people were speaking a coherent language. Or it was just me. My senses were slowly returning and with them came an unpleasantly wet feeling. I was...lying in a puddle. Of all the indignities!  
The smell hit me last. It was sewer like. I couldn't help but scrunch up my nose at the odor. I didn't know where I was but it was not shaping up to be a desirable location.  
Blink by blink, I opened my eyes. The world was still sideways but I could handle that for a bit. Across from me...was...a...dumpster. Lovely. I sighed. I thought I'd put my days of partying behind me. Though, in an alley was not the weirdest place I'd woken up in. The weirdest was a king sized bed with three other women. Another story for another time.  
It took a few more minutes but I finally pushed myself into a sitting position. My body felt weird. Bigger. Bulkier. But smaller at the same time. My hoodie was soaking wet and for some reason I was swimming in it. Insert eye roll at accidental pun here. Seriously, though, it was coming over my hands, scrunching up majorly around my stomach and sagging a bit at my shoulders. I didn't even know if this was my hoodie anymore. It was big to begin with, but, hey. It was once my boyfriend's. Now, it was a faded threadbare druggie hoodie.  
Once I tried to stand, I knew something was wrong. My pants pulled me down. I tried again but my pants were so loose and tangled that I fell over. Looking down, I noticed that maybe it also had to do with the fact that my Etnies were busting open since my hooves were too big. My...hooves. Hooves.  
I kicked off my shoes and stared at my used-to-be-feet. The pounding in my head returned and set my heart on fire. I tried desperately to pull up my sleeves and look at my hands but I couldn't get the stupid things to work. Then it hit me. Those were more than likely also hooves.  
I was screaming in my head quite freely. I couldn't get my mouth to make a sound. In truth, I was a bit afraid that my voice would come out as a bray. I shook my head and twitched an ear. I seriously twitched an ear. It flopped. _Flopped._  
Using my teeth (from a nose and mouth farther from my face than before), I finally pulled the sleeves up my arms. Or...forelegs. Yes, my once hands had become hooves. The fur was white as shadowy snow in sharp contrast to my dark blue hoodie. I stood up on all fours. My skinnies were clearly not meant for this body and pinched me in places I'd rather not be pinched. With great difficulty, I wriggled out of them and discarded the garments in a soon forgotten corner. Looking back now, I wish I'd seen the reaction of the next person in the alley finding a random pair of pants.  
I nudged over a trash can and turned over the lid. Staring into the warped reflection of what should have been a twenty one year-old girl, a horrified pony stared back at me.

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**A/N: I suppose my thanks are in order. If you've reached this far, mind supporting me with a nice R&R? Tis greatly appreciated. Happy reading!**

_Word Count: 682_

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (c) Hasbro_


	2. Chapter 2: Driver 8

**A/N: I had to replace this chapter because it got overwritten with the next one. WHY ME.  
**

* * *

It took maybe a minute or an hour but I finally worked up the courage and ventured out of my alley. I was greeted by the hustling streets of some city. The first guy...stallion that ran into me had some choice words for my kind. I apologized profusely and followed the stream of people-er, ponies-with haste.

I had, with great exultation, salvaged my wallet from the pocket of my pants. The majority of the contents were just my school ID, driver's license, quarters and dimes with a twenty shoved in there from the last time I visited my parents. My job wasn't exactly high paying and my parents would hide money for me to find if I cleaned the house. Meh, my sister was constantly complaining about having to work and blahblahblah so she never had 'time' to do chores between senior year and her job. I often wish I could slap her and shove her face into the land of Real World. She's gotta learn that dancing will only get you so far.

But continuing on.

I had a plan. If I was where I thought I was, this was Equestria. Why else would my hooves look like this? This wasn't Ponyville and this wasn't Canterlot; I had no idea for the first few blocks. It was, well, New York-esque. So then, judging from the dirty looks I was getting at my damp and disheveled appearance, I started thinking this was Manehattan and I looked like a homeless bum. Also, I actually recognized two background ponies from the twenty third episode. Shut up, I know my ponies.

My plan was to get to Ponyville. I needed to go somewhere that I _knew_. Well, knew as well as one could know a cartoon location. As an avid brony from age fourteen, I kept the obsession alive through all six seasons until college stress chased it away for a while. Of course, once a brony always a brony and I knew the residents of Ponyville. I'd be in familiar territory even if I had no idea what I was doing.

For now, it was getting dark. And I didn't have any money. That was putting a huge damper on my train-to-Ponyville scheme. I needed cash and frankly, I needed a meal. If I had a guitar...busking.

I wandered the streets for maybe ten minutes and it seems like I was successfully avoiding the upper class district. That was my marvelous mind power at work. And the banners loudly and colourfully proclaiming 'Manehattan Cultural Region.' Basically the theatre district. At any rate, I was looking for a busker. Somebody ready to leave so I could take their spot for one song, maybe two. Enough for a bag of Cheetos or something.

I knew that it was too much to ask of any random hobo-pony. But I needed cash.

Five minutes of running into ponies, getting mean looks, and passing brightly coloured lights and different venues. How I wished I could find someone, anyone, to lend me a song.

I was actually kinda pissed when there weren't any buskers for a while. I mean, I know it's not Temple Bar but come on.

Another ten minutes of the sky turning dark and my hooves getting sore and I finally found some random dude half in and half out of an alley. He was all huddled up beneath a big wool blanket with only his horn pointing out. A ragged acoustic guitar case lay next to his motionless form. I thought he was dead until I poked him with a loud, "Sir?"

Bleary eyes looked up from behind messy black hair. An eyebrow was raised. "I ain't no sir, ma'am."

Quick response, activate! "An' I ain't no ma'am, sir."

The guy sat up and stretched. "Touché. Whataya want?"

I did a quick inspection. He wasn't homeless. He was too well kept. "So, you aren't who I'm looking for..."

He looked at me a little confused. "What do ya mean?"

I shrugged. Well, I tried to. It was more like a head-bob-swing as my shoulders weren't where they usual are. "I was looking for some homeless bum whose guitar I could steal for a song."

The guy chuckled. "Ya, I'm not homeless. I'm a college student."

"Same thing," I deadpanned. Jobs were hard to come by. I worked in a coffee shop in town by my college. It was not high paying but working after the homecoming parade got me some good tips. Ya. It sucks.

The hobo/student cocked his head to the side. "Well, you can use my guitar anyways. Name's Fourth String but you can call me G. I'm a music major." Clever colt.

I watched as a green magic to match the student's eyes enveloped the case and revealed a beautiful-though worn-acoustic. The body was curved a bit more than my Yamaha acoustic-electric. The finish gleamed in mahogany tones and a black pick guard set wonderfully against the wood. Pearl inlay caught my eye in flowery lettering. Bitson. Gibson? Wut.

I took the guitar with some fumbling and near dropping before I sat and cradled the beauty in my forelegs. I raised my right hoof to strum and my left to press the frets before I realized a crucial part of the guitar playing process. I didn't have fingers.

G stared at me with mounting awkwardness and second thoughts flitting over his eyes. It occurred to me then that he looked like Harry Potter without glasses. Oh, and a pony. All I wanted was a simple G chord. E on third, A on second, B on third, e on third. Gently strum. Top to bottom. Ring out the high G. Just let it play.

And it played.

I let out the gusty breath I didn't know I was holding and opened my eyes that I wasn't aware were closed. A shimmering blue-grey-green pressure held down the strings right where I wanted it. I could play. Eff to the yeah!

**New skill acquired:_**  
_Magic.__  
_ You're stupid not to have noticed before.__  
_ You're a unicorn, Harry!__  
**Recommended action:_**  
_Proceed with initial action.__

I quickly ran through my arsenal of memorized chords. After eleven years of playing, there was one song that I could never forget no matter how hard I tried. I closed my eyes and let the magic do the work.

The first rift played out with the little bit of slap back I gave it. I ran through the second loop and remembered playing it on bass and having my sister complain I didn't do it right. E minor.

"The walls are built up," jump to A minor then G, "Stone by stone," do that funky F sharp thing up top. Run the chords again. "Hills divided one by one."

I chuckled a bit at the next lyric. It corresponded beautifully to my 'Plan.' "And the train conductor says, 'Take a break, Driver 8. Driver 8 take a break; you've been on the shift too long."

There's the D. Switch just as quickly to C. "And the train conductor says, 'Take a break, Driver 8. Driver 8 take a break; we can reach our destination." Get that E minor with the G top stuff. "But we're still a ways away."

That's when the self consciousness smacked me upside the head and heat filled my cheeks. I decided to end it early but not without using my newfound magic to play half chords and the rift at the same time. iSame time, bro./i

I ended on my last E minor and opened my eyes with a little bit of fear. What did I just do!?

I glanced at G with worry before something small and hard nailed me in the chest. It clinked against the guitar and my hoof shot out and grabbed it. Somehow. I looked up as a very well dressed pony turned away from flicking the half bit in my direction. I deadpanned loudly as his retreating form entered the nearby theatre. "Your generosity is worth buckets of love and tolerance, sir!"

"Wow, that was great!" G beamed with a chuckle. "Short song, though."

I felt my spirit shrink and slowly leave my body. "W-well, that wasn't the whole thing...I got nervous. Really nervous. I knew I was gonna mess up if I kept going."

G cocked his head to the side. "Oh, I doubt that."

I handed (hoofed?) him back his guitar with a sheepish smile. I played with the coin absentmindedly. "Trust me. I haven't done this in a long time." Like...ever? Does that count as a long time?

The Harry Potter horse chuckled and pushed the guitar gently back to me. "I don't believe that. And ya know what?" He reached into his saddlebags and pulled out five little golden coins. "Let me be the first to say your skills don't belong on street corners." Innuendo? Shut up, inner self.

He tossed me the coins and with a spark of surprise, I caught them. I was speechless. Not only did he just give me five bits, but he just gave me five bits. That I caught. He spoke again. "Do you like the sound of this guitar?"

A little confused, I tried to pass the guitar back with a nod and shoved the bits in my pocket. "Oh, yeah. It's tone is absolutely beautiful. It sounds a bit like my father's."

G smiled crookedly and took the instrument. He laid it in its case, closed the latch, and pressed it firmly into my arms. Forelegs. "Keep it, then."

There was a moment of silence. "Oh, I couldn't!" I exclaimed. Why in the almighty hay was he trying to give me such an awesome piece?

He chuckled and stood up, his blanket folding in a green glow and laying across his shoulders. "I have seven guitars back up in my dorm. One less doesn't kill me and that's not even my favourite."

I held the case awkwardly and blinked. "B-but...you can't just _give _me a _guitar!"_

He cocked his head to the side. "Says who?"

**New item acquired:_**  
_Bitson Acoustic Guitar.__  
_ Well-loved and simply beautiful.__  
_ Unlimited ammo.__  
**Recommended action:_**  
_Cease thought process.__

I did not have an answer for that. With no small amount of awe and gratitude, I watched the guy pick up his pack and turn to walk down the road. He took pause and looked back. "I never did catch your name."

Name. Uh... "I don't have one." Huh. That would work for now.

G raised a skeptical eyebrow before executing a natural looking shrug (the jerk) and smiling. "Then I hope we see each other again, No-Name."

I blushed. "Maybe." Then he was gone; walking leisurely down the road with his load lightened by a wayward soul.

I wrestled the guitar onto my back. I had yet to master the fine art of telekinesis. Do not think me stupid; I certainly tried using methods illustrated in various fanfictions. I thought about what I wanted to happen and tried to tap into my center to let my will flow to the action I desired. Leylines and crud. That didn't work worth a damn.

Instead, I slung the strap around my middle, through my front legs, and tightened it as far as it could go. The buckle had never needed to shrink so far it seemed and the nylon strap was a little stiff as it bent in new places. After situating the bulky new equipment, I cast my gaze around the streets. I needed to set off in search of the train station. I was going to find my way if it killed me. Although, with a grumble of my stomach, I realized it already was.

Where's a McDonald's when you need it, eh?

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**A/N: Twas quite a trip getting this to load back in so help me out and click that special review button to let me know how this is going. You know you want to~  
**

_Word Count: 1963  
_

___My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (c) Hasbro  
_

___Driver 8 (c) R.E.M  
_

___Everything else I missed (c) Everyone I forgot about  
_


	3. Chapter 3: NoName's New Name

**A/N: OHGAWD. I meant to upload this like forEVER ago D: So much got in the way. Camp, my German friend visiting, band camp, my random trip to Gettysburg, band camp again... so busy. Now I'm camped out in my room hiding from my mother because I'm supposed to be working on my H-English assignments. Blarg. Whatever. **

* * *

It's truly surprising how much change is laying in the side of the road in Manehattan. I manage to gather up ten more bits making a grand total of fifteen while I led myself to the train dock. That prideful part of me congratulated my innate sense of direction and epic street smarts. The smarter part of me fist pumped at my awesome luck. Nonetheless, I made it into the station and to a ticket kiosk.

The way it seemed to work was different kiosks for different ponies. Maybe? There were unicorns lined up behind a flat panel sticking out of the wall. Earth ponies were navigating a big boxy thing with boxy buttons that looked like the kiosks of Derry. Pegasi were...I'm not sure. It was a box, too, but they weren't commingling with the earth ponies so it must have been different.

It took me five minutes of staring at the machine before realizing that I had no idea what to do. I couldn't tell if it was a touch screen or not or what ever the heck...

My eyes began to tear up. I never cried but this was threatening to overwhelm me. I was thrown into a new city, a new country, a new world, a new _body_. All I wanted was to get_ home_, not Ponyville! I looked around frantically and saw dirty looks being thrown at me from impatient unicorns while I struggled to work the kiosk.

Someone (or somepony, you get the picture) tapped my shoulder. I jumped and looked around, my eyes wide and worried. I saw a vest-wearing unicorn little old lady-pony giving me the most grandmotherly look I'd ever gotten from someone who wasn't my grandmother.

"Are you alright, sweetie?"

I shook my head, eyes tearing again. "N-no..."

She nodded sympathetically. "Oh, dearie, what's the trouble?"

I looked down at the kiosk. "Please don't think I'm dumb but I can't work the ticket thingy..."

She walked shakily up to the screen and stared intently at it. "Where is it you want to go?"

I sniffed and readjusted the guitar on my back. "Ponyville. As soon as possible."

Quick as a flash-not unlike the white light that glared from her horn and into my retinas-the screen flipped through different pages. She slid five bits into the machine and it soon began printing a ticket. I looked at the woman-pony! I have to remember this...-with green eyes full of gratitude and saline. The white glow wrapped up her horn and the ticket as well. She floated it over to me. "Take this, dearie, and hop onto the number four over on the third platform. The trip will be overnight and you'll arrive in the morning."

I grinned. "Thank you so much!" I stared at the ticket for a moment. Did I take it with my mouth? Or my hooves? What?

The little old lady-pony raised a brow. "Aren't you going to use your magic, hon?"

I blinked uncomprehensively and then my eyes shot up. There, just in my peripheral, was that horn. It wasn't doing anything. Just sittin pretty and mocking me with its lack of glow. Grab the ticket~ I willed the damned thing. I could almost hear it smirking up there. The jerk.

I stammered, trying to find an explanation. "W-well, ya see, I have...a cold! Yes, a cold. And my, uh, magic is making...me...sneeze." Smooth.

She blinked and moved the ticket lower. "Well, then, dear," she coughed a bit awkwardly, "just grab it and go. Train is pulling in any minute now."

I snagged the slip out of the air and mumbled around it. "Yef, fankoo sooo mut! Yer da beft!" And I galloped away like an awkward moron. And I could actually gallop.

The train was already there when I skid onto the scene. A pony in a blue conductor's cap and a rather silly mutton chop beard grinned jovially and raised a hoof to the side of his mouth...muzzle...however it works, I'll learn. "The train to Ponyville is about to leave! All aboard who's coming aboard!"

I panted a bit, ticket clenched in my teeth. "Geff dat means me." I adjusted the guitar further onto my back and joined the last stragglers in an empty seeming car. Finding a seat off in the corner by my lonesome, I stared into the window and blinked sorrowful green eyes. The pale faced reflection blinked back beneath brown and blonde bangs and a prominent horn. That really was me.

My eyes filled with tears again and I covered my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. I tried to stay silent but apparently my shaking was more than noticeable. A hand-hoof, dammit!-touched my shoulder. "You alright there, sugarcube?"

I froze. I knew that southern twang. It was unmistakably one of Ashleigh Ball's most famous voices _ever_. I lowered my foreleg and looked up with wide eyes. I could not believe what I was seeing. It really was-

"What seems ta be the matter, pardner?" she spoke.

My voice didn't want to work. "I-I, uh, I-"

She sat down across from me. "Ah've never seen you before, an' thanks ta my friend Pinkie Pie, Ah know everypony in town. What's bringing ya to Ponyville?"

I looked down. Eye contact has never been a favorite thing of mine despite my outgoing nature. "I-I don't have anywhere else to go."

She sighed. "Ah'm so sorry ta hear that. Do you have family down there?"

I propped my chin on a hoof. "My family is nowhere near here or anywhere I can get to. I don't have anyplace that I can stay but I'm going to Ponyville 'cause it's small and I'll know people."

The orange pony scratched her hat. "People?"

"Er, ponies."

"Oh."

"Ya," I continued. "Maybe I'd find a job and scrape up cash to rent somewhere...maybe."

We sat there in silence for a while before she put out a hoof. "Mah name's Applejack. Ah think Ah might be able ta help you out."

I took her hoof timidly and we shook. "What do you mean?"

She tipped back her stetson and smiled. "Why, a place to stay, ahcourse. Least till yer back on yer hooves. Maybe y'all can work with me to earn yer keep."

My eyes lit up. "Really!? Oh, thank you, Applejack! I'm so grateful, I really am! Everybody here is just so much nicer than where I'm from! I mean, everybody is nice but here they go out of their way _just to be nice!_ Except the people on the street but I'm used to that, it's just like Pittsburgh or something but the people not on the street are so _nice_ Like you and and Fourth String and the little old unicorn lady-pony who-"

Applejack shoved a hoof in my mouth. "Slow down there, sugarcube! Y'all are gonna need a nap if ya keep runnin yer mouth so fast!" My face burned red as she removed her hoof. "Yer just like Pinkie Pie in that way. That girl can't slow her words ta save her life! Here Ah thought you were gonna be as quiet as mah friend Fluttershy. That's quiet for ya."

A glimmer entered my heart and I knew exactly what was gonna happen for the next hours. "Wow, AJ. Your friends sound awesome! Tell me about them!"

Applejack leaned back. "Aw, shucks. Ya really wanna hear about the same five girls for the rest o'the trip?"

I clapped my hooves together. "Yes!"

"Don't y'all got yer own friends ta think about?"

I let my arms-forelegs-drop. "Uh...no. Not here." An awkward silence drug on for a millennia. Or a few seconds. "So, Applejack...what brings you to Manehattan?"

"Family business," she answered. "Ah have an aunt and uncle living in the fi-nan-see-al district. Mah uncle Orange who was married inta the family had a big business brother who passed away, may he rest in peace. Ah came to represent the Apple branch a'cause Ah didn't want Granny makin the trip." A look of confusion spread over her face. "All that happened after all that was some sneaky attempts at foiling mah plans to leave." She shook her head. "It was alright for a while, I could tolerate it. Uncle Orange lost someone near an' dear an' wanted somepony tah be the same. But dainty parties an tiny meals an doin up mah hair in a silly ol' bouffant ain't for me."

I blinked in sympathy though I wasn't sure she was very broken up over it. "I'm sorry for your loss, Applejack." She nodded her thanks and I smiled and continued. "I do agree about the parties and finery part. I hate dressing up. One of the worst things ever!"

AJ chuckled. "Yer wearin clothes right now."

I looked down at my hoodie with burning cheeks. Do ponies really blush so much? Since when did a hoodie count as dressing up? "Oh. Well, I meant dresses. I hate dresses."

"Well, don't we all, sugarcube?" She grinned at me. The pictures on the screen didn't quite capture how characteristic her smile is. She has a dimple in her left cheek and her lip curls out a bit on the same side. The appearance was somewhat crooked but heartfelt. It was downright adorable, honestly.

I didn't want to sound like a creeper by pointing out how Rarity iadored/i dresses, but somehow the realization came too late. "What about Rarity?" I'm pretty sure part of me died at the look on AJ's face.

"Now how do you know abaht Rarity?" She didn't seem suspicious. Just confused. Or weirded out. Maybe ecstatically surprised. I'm still not that great at reading the facial expressions of a pony.

Due to my enviable superpower I like to call 'bullshitting my way through any test and passing,' I managed to come up with a suitable answer. "She's quite the talk in Canterlot on-and-off," I said as I slapped on a grin. "As fabulous as ponies make her designs seem, I have about ten bits to my name and no desire." Tis true.

Applejack looked a bit confused. "What were y'all doin in Canterlot?"

My façade did not slip. The mask, child. "That's where I'm originally from up until adulthood."

"Then why were you in Manehattan?

I'm lying to a lie detector, I thought. "I was going to school in Manehattan. In the theatre district." Now, that's not necessarily untrue. I _was_ in school as a music and arts major with chemistry and engineering as a minor. Ya. The contrast. Sometimes it burns.

Applejack didn't seem very satisfied. "And how did y'all know we were friends?" Oh, shoot.

And they said I wouldn't go far by BSing everything. "Remember...the garden party last year?"

Applejack blinked and scootched down in her seat some. "Oh, yeah."

I nodded. "I was with my parents for a vacation. Heard all about it." I smiled a bit devilishly. "Sounded great. You were the talk of the town. I didn't even know that Canterlot had garden parties...never did pay attention."

Applejack pulled at her hat. "So just about e'rypony heard, ah?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Wasn't too bad, though. You kind of did save the world. ...twice."

A pause.

"And you're immortalized in stain glass...

"Twice."

I considered the ice just about broken at that point. For whatever reason I was here, I was building an awesome story around myself. I talked around any personal questions for the next hours as AJ and I conversed. That is, until she asked something I hadn't thought of.

"Shoot, Ah never did ask you. Hopin' ya don't think me ignorant, but Ah didn't seem to catch yer name." She smiled. How can I say no to that smile!?

When confronted, I'm as good at lying as the next person. Only a heck of a lot better. However, something like that is not something I can BS. It's a serious thing. My name. Dammit, what's my name!? AJ was staring expectantly, becoming a little uncomfortable. What did I name my OC? That was four, five, six years ago! C'mon, girl, think!

"Azure Spark."

**New item acquired:_**  
_Name._  
Azure Spark._  
Azure doesn't even look like a word if you say it enough.__

_AzureAzureAzureAzureAzureAzu re.__  
**Recommended action:_**  
_Proceed with former thought process.__

Surprisingly, my voice did not shake and I remembered to wipe the wide eyes away and finish with a crooked smile.

AJ nodded. "That's a right fitting name."

"What do ya mean by that?"

She gestured to my...ness. "Well, yer wearin blue and yer coat really is blue. It looked like white at first but it's lookin more blue the longer Ah stare."

I looked down at my foreleg and compared it to the sweatshirt as she went on. Huh. I really was just a ridiculously light blue. "As for the Spark half, you sure are a live wire. Once we got to knowin each other better, Ah'd say y'all're fixin to burst with energy."

"That's me," I chuckled and flashed a smile. "Sparky."

* * *

**A/N: Again, for the four of you that read this, I am very sorry for the delay. Next time, no excuses! I shall upload when I promise c: That promise means either once or twice a week landing on either Saturday or a random day ending in y. Thanks again for getting this far!**

****_Word Count: 2184  
_

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (c) Hasbro  
_

_Anything I may have missed (c) Anyone it belongs to  
_


	4. Chapter 4: First Contact

**A/N: I missed my due daaate. Oh, well. You guys can deal. **

* * *

I was not the type of person to come to full awakeness out of sleep. I mean, I am actually kind of completely aware all at once but I can never fully remember anything afterwards.

After we talked (and talked, and talked), we found ourselves some bunks in the sleeping car and hit the hay so-to-speak. I slept like a baby, surprisingly. I was getting kinda sick from the constant motion but the ol' sleep it off trick worked.

AJ woke me at a decent time-7.30 judging by the height of the sun, length of the shadows, and analog clock on the wall-saying that we were pulling into the station soon. I stumbled blindly out of bed and into an unoccupied seat. Applejack tried to carry on conversation but for the life of me I could not stay awake.

I vaguely remember Applejack waking me again, leading me wearily out the door, and walking me off the train dock and into town. I was still only half conscious while we made our way to Sweet Apple Acres and I think I said something about how colourful the world is when you're in a cartoon. But it was slurred...ya, slurred. She didn't notice. Right?

The full recap of my day didn't hit me at first. I wondered why I was walking on all fours but I disregarded it since it felt natural. AJ mentioned a letter in her mailbox-that I didn't remember stopping at-and we went to the barn. My eyes were shutting once again. Then, we opened the door.

"Surprise!" a collective voice cried out.

"Surprise! ...shoot! I missed it again!"

I was fully awake at this point, scared out of my skin. The events that brought me to this point flooded into my head as I stared around at all the balloons, the cake, the large banner reading "Welcome Home, AJ!" Finally, I stared at the ponies. The ponies. Five colourful _ponies_. White, yellow, purple, pink, blue. My heartbeat began picking up again and all I could hear was the sound of blood rushing in my ears.

Applejack was tackled at my side by a bouncing pink blur. "Oh my goodness, Applejack! I missed you so, so, oh so very much! How was Manehattan? Did you see your Aunt and Uncle Orange? How are your Aunt and Uncle Orange? Did you have a nice time? Oh wait, he he! I already asked that!"

"Yeah, yeah, don't suffocate her, Pinkie Pie! Good to have ya back, AJ." Oh, great god above. That was another voice I knew all too well. Ashleigh Ball: Voice Actress of the Gods. Well, maybe that's Tabitha St Germain. Chick voices e'r'ybody.

Applejack returned to my side and rested a foreleg around my shoulders as the ponies stood in a line before us. The purple unicorn cocked her head to the side and smiled. "Welcome home, Applejack! Who's your friend?"

"This here's Azure Spark. Sparky."

The dam burst. Maybe it was the way Twilight Sparkle just came right out and spoke to me. Maybe it was the fact that _Twilight Sparkle_ spoke. To _me._ And wanted to know who I was. And AJ remembered my name. Even though it's not my name.

The girls all gasped as I sat with a thump. I buried my face in my hoodie and sobbed in the way only someone who hasn't cried in ten years could. The guitar smacked me upside the head and I pushed it off my back, kicking it to the side. I barely heard the conversation going on above my head.

"Oh no! Was it something I said?"

"No, Twi, I think the gravity of the sitch-y-ation is just finally hittin the poor girl."

"Well, who is she?! Who is she?! I have to throw a Welcome to Ponyville Party cause she's all brand new! But now it can't be surprise because she _totally_ just heard me say that..."

"Calm down, Pinkie. The poor darling seems just so upset!"

"How do ya know if she's on the up-and-up, AJ? When'd you meet her?"

"Oh, um, maybe we should help her feel better...if you don't mind, that is...maybe..."

A hoof touched my ear and I wiped at my eyes, careful not to smudge my eyeliner. Wait...do ponies wear eyeliner? Was I even wearing any? Anyhow, I sucked back my sobs and locked them in my chest with the mighty chains of an iron will. No, not the Minotaur. Not everything is a reference to ponies; even in Equestria.

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong. Are you okay?"

I stood with a little effort and sniffed, head down. "You didn't say anything wrong. It's my fault."

"Oh. Can we help?"

I peeked through my bangs at the ponies before me. Twilight blinked beautiful violet eyes in an innocent desire to aid me in any way. Oh my gosh. The d'aww!

I sniffed. I didn't know what to do. And I was so tired.

Twilight was still waiting for me to answer with increasingly visible worry. I pulled it together. Locked it up. Strength.

And the words didn't come.

Applejack carried out a would-be answer. "I'm lettin Sparky stay here on the farm after I let Big Macintosh an' Granny Smith know. She said that she don't have anywhere to go."

I scuffed the barn floor with a front hoof. "Ya, I don't. I have fifteen bucks and a twenty in currency I don't believe you take."

Miss Tara Strong herself replied in earnest. "You mean you're from another country? I noticed a bit of an accent. Where are you from? Germaney? Prance?"

I raised an eyebrow. "While I can speak German...or...Ger_mane_," Jermaine! Jackson! Jackson 5! "and have visited Germany and F-prance, I am from neither." I stretched out my foreleg and moved it in an outward arc, painting a great expanse as I spoke. "I hail from the _magical_ land of A_mer_ica where malnutrition is a thing of the past. Any disease that comes our way is smited by our mighty scientists. We are one of the world's superpowers with a past as tragic and struggle filled as any. Our greatest technological achievements are dotted with the tears of Chinese orphans!"

I watched their faces turn from awe to shock. I shrugged-getting closer to looking normal-and continued on. "Meh. It's not my favorite place. I prefer Ireland once you ignore all the tension up north. Belfast. That was a trip..."

I was met with silence. Twilight's brow furrowed in thought. "So, your homeland is bountiful, holds scientific geniuses who work with the eradication of sickness, are one of the leaders of the world, you have a past filled with war and internal struggle, and you enslave foreign children to reach your technological goals?"

I nodded and smiled proudly. "Yes. ...no, wait, what was that about the enslaving of the children?"

Rainbow Dash swooped down with a judgmental look of suspicion. "Your country seriously makes _foals_ work!?"

Rather than answer her question, I couldn't help myself. I threw my arms around Dashie's neck and squealed. Nopony moved. I stared into the confused-or amused in Pinkie's case-faces of the four around us. "Sweet mother of all that is good. I am touching Rainbow Dash! There _is_a god!" She fluttered in my grasp. I tightened my hold and raised my face to the sky. Or barn ceiling. Details. "Praise you, baby Jesus!"

**New item acquired:_**  
_Self worth.__  
_ To be used sparingly.__  
_ There is no guarantee it will stick around.__  
**Recommended action:_**  
_Don't push it.__

Rainbow tried to lift off but I just stuck with her. There we were, hovering in the air. To this day, I marvel at my upper body strength in that one moment. Rainbow pushed at my chest, making a face of discomfort. "Get offa me!"

Applejack stepped forward. "Sparky, I think she means it. Y'all can go huggin ponies after ya meet em! Introduce yerself more and y'all can hug Rainbow all ya want."

"Don't I get a say!?"

"Hush up, Rainbow."

I smiled devilishly. "I'll get off her if she can make me."

Rainbow made a noise of disbelief and lifted about two feet higher. Of course, this made me a bit nervous. "Whoa, hold up, I never said-" Before I had the chance to finish, I found myself face down in trampled hay.

"Rainbow!"

"What!?"

"What do you mean what!?"

"She said to make her get off so I did!"

"That's not the way to go about it!"

"Why not!?"

I lifted my face and watched the bicker battle between Twilight and Rainbow. I could practically see the sparks arching overhead.

"Because she is even smaller than Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie piped up. "It's true! Look at her!"

"Yeah, but Pinkie can take a beating!"

Twilight's mouth fell open. "You beat Pinkie!?"

Rainbow facepalmed. Facehoofed. Whatever. It was adorable and everything I ever dreamed. "No, I don't beat Pinkie! What are you, crazy!?"

Pinkie Pie bounced up to the verbal war. "Yeah, Twilight! I'm not a piñata! I don't have candy inside of me!" She giggled but then turned thoughtful. "Which would be pretty cool, now that I think about it! Because whatever is inside me now I highly doubt anyone will want to eat after smacking me around with a big stick."

Silence.

I stood up. All eyes turned to me. "Well, now that I've caused my first fight, may I just apologize?" I turned my head to Rainbow. I put out my hoof in a gesture of truce. "We chill?"

She sighed and took my hoof in hers. It felt like there was a pressure around my hoof-once-hand. I tried to return it and I think I succeeded because Rainbow was giving me a 'let go' look. I cocked my head to the side. "I think we should bring it in. All the way."

She wrenched her hoof away. "No way!"

I spread my arms wide. "I'm feelin the love, Dashie!" Apparently, a four-legged creature cannot easily stand on their hind legs. The thought crossed my mind just as it was too late to catch myself and I crashed to the floor once again. I sprung back up. "You'll have to excuse me. I'm not used to this..." Shoot. I didn't mean to say that.

Rarity took the plunge into Crazyville and stepped forward. "So, what I am gathering is that you are not from here? Is that correct?"

I smiled and attempted a curtsy. However a pony curtsy works, I think I pulled it off because she smiled while I spoke. "You are absolutely correct, Miss Rarity."

"And I see you learn proper etiquette where you are from."

Rainbow cut in. "Proper? She tried to strangle me!"

I put up a hoof up with a sly glance. "Be glad I'm not European. I would have kissed you."

I left Rainbow Dash to her faces of disgust and turned my attention to the most quiet and kind member of the troupe. I calmed my face and spoke softly. Always remember The Care and Keeping of an Introvert. "Hallo, Fluttershy. It is very nice to meet you."

Fluttershy immediately ducked beneath her hair and squeaked out a "H-Hello."

Twilight looked at me with skepticism. "Hold on. How do you know all of our names? We never introduced ourselves."

I barely heard the inquiry. My ears started ringing through a fog in my head. I looked around the barn. "Do...you have a beehive in here?"

Applejack replied. "Ah hardly think now's the time to worry about it, Sparky. Can ya answer Twi's question? I'm curious mahself."

The buzzing grew louder and stuffed my head full of cotton. I stumbled back a step, feeling dazed. Fluttershy was immediately by my side, steadying me. "O-oh, my goodness. Are you alright?"

I waved a hoof. "Ya don't have to shout."

"Fluttershy? Shouting?" somepony said. It was warped and fuzzy.

Buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing-

What was beeping?

The ground tilted dangerously and I fell with a smack to the floor.

* * *

**A/N: I need to jump on this more and crank out another chapter before posting this next one. Cause, shoot. I have to write a replacement chapter. Eh. Until next time, thanks for your attention and R&R :D  
**

_Word Count: 2016  
_

_Character Count: 11480  
_

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (c) Hasbro  
_


	5. Chapter 5: In For A Ride

**A/N: Eh. I am seriously no good with keeping promises when it comes to this. I'm not getting much feedback and losing motivation. An R&R is the best thing I can receive so I would LOVE to hear from my followers :)**

* * *

My eyes were blurry, sticky, crusty. Icky. I raised a hand to wipe them and felt the tug of wires and needles. I could barely make out a huge ass IV pick up shoved in my wrist. My...human wrist. With a human hand attached.

I weakly wiggled my fingers with a blue oxygen monitor clipped to one. The buzzing and the fuzzing and the fog had all but stopped. Somehow, the beeping continued.

I reached up with my free hand and pawed at my nose. I felt a plastic tube stretched across my face. I was on oxygen.

For some reason, it became the best course of action I could recognize to remove the oxygen from my nose and to begin tugging at the wire leading from the oxygen clip on my finger.

The beeping became one solid drone as I seemingly flatlined. Two nurses burst in moments later with a doctor somewhere on the way. The first, a frizzy haired black woman, reached my bed and snapped her fingers in front of my face. I blinked. She then noticed the clip lying on my stomach with the wire clutched in my hand.

She sighed as the other nurse and the doctor rejoined her. She reattached the clip to my finger and the beeping resumed. I didn't hear what was said by the nurses but when the doctor opened his mouth, I managed to catch 'restraints.'

I sucked in a sudden deep breath and began hyperventilating. I opened my eyes to a blurry world once more. To be honest, I was getting sick of that. As my vision cleared, a blur detached itself from the wall and became distinctly pony shaped.

I raised my hand to my face. It was a hoof again. It was shaking.

Something was stroking my face while I stared into space. Heh. Rhyme. It felt hard and solid but there was a warmth in it. A little field of gentleness. My breathing slowed and I wiped the sheen of sweat from my brow with the sleeve of my hoodie.

"Are you alright, now?"

I jerked my head to the side, startling the poor creature who was so kindly whispering to me. Everything became crystal clear at once. My head was okay and I could see without a constant blur.

Fluttershy stood wide-eyed before me, hiding behind a lock of hair. "I-I'm so sorry!" she said softly. As if my strange ordeal had not occurred, I stood from the bed I had been laid upon and bowed my head to her.

"Please don't be sorry, Fluttershy. I shouldn't have...done whatever it is I did." I looked at the ground and traced the whorls in the hardwood floor with a hoof. I knew that a down cycle was coming.

**New skill acquired:_  
_You can manage to be sad in Equestria._  
You should worry about your mental and emotional state._  
_****Recommended action:_  
_Fix it.__**

Being bipolar is not a happy trip, my little bronies. I can't pay for therapy, I can't pay for meds, no one knows but me. I don't have the help I need.

My world is a crazy slew of ups and downs. One moment will have me leaping and screaming and laughing and undergoing 'pressured speech.' If you need an explanation, think pink. The other half is brooding, staring into space, having nothing to say, playing sad songs in a minor key.

I have my up cycle and my down cycle. Manic and depressive respectably. I didn't want to have a down cycle in front of these ponies. That would just be horrible. However, my body doesn't care what my mind wants to do.

Fluttershy brought me out of my brow furrowing thoughts. "O-oh, I shouldn't have startled you anyways. I'm sorry for that." She went all nurturing-mother mode on me and stared intently into my brain. Not quite The Stare but enough to make me think thrice about moving, lying, doing anything to displease her. "Are you alright, Azure Spark?"

I blinked. "Why would I not be?" I noted my bland tone. I decided to slap around my cerebral cortex a bit. Punch the up cycle back.

Fluttershy brushed her hair away from her eyes and gave me worrisome look. "Passing out for numerable hours is not something to take lightly..."

My face went almost completely blank. Slowly, I raised a single eyebrow. My inner self was practically rejoicing at the cartoon world allowing me to do something I've always wanted to. "What do you mean...numerable hours? What exactly happened and how long have I been out?" That right there is called temporic amnesia. When you simply cannot remember something for the life of you but you know it must've happened. Typically remembered after a trigger word.

Fluttershy's adorable doe eyes widened in mind boggling care. "You don't remember? Oh, dear..." I raised a hoof and made a 'get on with it' motion. The pony before me carried on. "Applejack brought you to the barn, remember? After you met everybody, y-you fainted. You've been asleep for maybe four hours. Applejack carried you to her house and I settled you in the guest room.

I tapped my hoof against my chin. "Hm...sounds familiar." It came back in a rush and I felt my face contort into shock and dismay. "I...I acted like a total weeaboo."

Despite her utter confusion and lack of definition for the word, Fluttershy realized it was bad and tried to make things better. "Oh, no, you were-"

I sat heavily and grabbed my head. "I fangasmed on Rainbow Dash!" I turned my face to the heavens and covered my eyes. I was not fit to see this marvelous world. "My life is ruined!"

Fluttershy flitted over and patted me on the head. "There, there, your life isn't ruined. So, you lost control of yourself for a moment. It happens to the best of-"

The door slammed open. I slowly uncovered my eyes and peeked from behind Fluttershy to note the cause. There in the doorway stood-

A mighty gasp. "New Pony! You're awake! We were getting so worried! I mean, how often does a stranger come to your barn and pass out? Well, Applejack had no problems but we had absotively posulutely no idea what was wrong with you! Twilight sent me upstairs to check on you after we got bored sitting around and eating pie. Like, four hours of pie is not something to complain about but Applejack said I was going to eat her out of house and home, whatever that means. I'm not going to eat Applejack's house! Who would do that? Hey, probably parasprites but I'd fixed those little buggers up real quick. I wonder if parasprites like to eat pie. And what flavour? What's _your favorite flavour, Sparky?"_

I blinked. "Apple." A few seconds passed and the pony smiled with sparkling blue eyes. She took in another breath but I beat her to the punch. "Sweet mother! Pinkie Pie!"

There was no moment between Pinkie being at the door and her being in front of my face, Fluttershy pushed to the side. One second she was across the room and the other had her nose inches from mine. "Azure Spark! Your turn, Fluttershy!"

"Eep!"

A big grin split my face and I leapt into the air. "I'm not the only crazy person! There is no possible way that you can call me insane now! Mwahahaha!" I paused my deranged laughter to take in the surprised faces of my pony companions. "Mwah...ha?"

Pinkie Pie began giggling hysterically, rolling on her back. "Wow, Sparky! You sure do say some funny stuff!" She sat up and smiled brightly. "You need to meet everyone for real now that you're done being dead!"

Something about the word struck a chord. I felt myself flinch but I couldn't place that weird feeling. I brushed it off; no need for dwelling on unnamable emotions. I grinned, perhaps a bit manically, and nodded with enthusiasm. "Oh, you have no idea how much I'd love that."

Pinkie bounced and hung at the zenith for a physically impossibly amount of time. "Then let's get a move on!" She hit the floor and bounced again, heading out the door.

Fluttershy let out a quiet, "Oh, my..." as I squealed excitedly and tackled-hugged Pinkie in a flying leap.

Her boinging bouncy noises cut off in a high-pitched "Whoa!" and we tumbled down the stairs I was unaware were placed across from the door.

I am not afraid to admit that I thought for a moment I was about to die. I think my life flashed before my eyes. Of course, that might have been Pinkie Pie's mane blinding me for the duration of our decent.

At last, we hit the floor and lay there. Fluttershy made it down the steps safely and stared in shock. I raised my head and blinked. "Mother of all...am I alive?"

The four ponies in the sitting room I seemed to have landed in slowly nodded. "No," I disagreed, "I have died and gone to brony heaven."

Pinkie Pie popped up as if she hadn't tumbled down a flight of steep stairs and leapt nearly slowmotion style into an unoccupied seat. "No, silly! I'm still here, too!" She flashed that crazy unbridled grin. The one with the squinty eyes and happy dimples. I died again.

I took the opportunity to make a scene. "I've killed Pinkie, too!" I sprung to the chair and clutched the pink party pony to my chest. "It's alright, Pinkie Pie. We can get through this together. There are still parties in heaven!" I gasped dramatically. "Unless we're in hell!"

I heard a choking noise and released the pink in my forelegs. She took a breath, coughed and grinned from the floor with brows raised. "Wow, is that what it feels like when _I hug ponies?"_

I threw my foreleg over my eyes, standing on my hind legs in an overly dramatic pose. "We'll never know! We've crossed over!"

"Ahem."

I looked beneath my arm at the none too amused face of Twilight Sparkle. I put my hooves back on the ground. "Right. Sorry."

Twilight sighed and floated something out of Rainbow's grasp who began to protest before receiving a quick kick. I blinked and cocked my head to the side as I recognized my wallet suspended in that purplely pink shine. It was dropped on the ground in front of me. "Why didja have my wallet?" I asked.

Rainbow Dash stretched across a love seat she seemed to have claimed. She spoke flippantly. "It fell out of your hoodie when ya passed out."

Twilight cut back in. "And we found some interesting identification cards. Could you take a look at them?"

With the face of a deer in the headlights, I used the tip of my hoof to flip open the fold. Immediately, the driver's license caught my eye. A brightly grinning human face seemed to set off sirens in the room. I have to say, the picture was not bad at all. I looked pretty attractive. But that's beside the point. The real trouble is that I'd had a picture of a human sitting in my wallet and the ponies had seen it. Doing the first thing that came to mind, I kicked the offending piece of woven nylon across the room and grinned. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Twilight gave me the most unamused look I've ever been on the receiving end of and sent the wallet back my way. With dexterity only magic can offer, she opened the wallet again and pulled out both my driver's license and school ID. She pushed the ID close to my face. "Can you please explain this to me?"

I'm sure I paled beneath the fur on my face. I stared blankly into space. "Well, that is a card identifying me as a student at Grove City College."

The driver's license switched out. "And this is?"

"A license authorizing me to drive a car. It doubles as my photo ID."

Twilight slipped everything back into place and the magic released it with a pop. "There," she said. "I told you girls that picture was her!" She looked pointedly to AJ.

I scuffed the floor and stared down as if worn hardwood was the most interesting part of this world. Applejack grunted in a noncommittal way. "Ah never disagreed with you, Twi. Ah just said that it was very unlikely. Never gave mah opinion either way."

Rainbow blew a raspberry. "Come on, AJ. You totally denied it."

"Ah did not, Rainbow!"

"Sure did!"

"Girls!" Rarity cut in with ladylike grace. "Perhaps we should focus on the more pressing matter, hm?"

AJ looked to Rarity with a blush and back at me. "Ah guess she's right. So, Sparky-"

Rainbow swooped in and nudged my side. "If that _is your real name."_

Twilight sighed in exasperation. "We know that it's not, Rainbow. Both identifications have a name on them. "

"And what an interesting name it is," Rarity commented. She flipped her hair with one hoof and blinked bright blues in my direction. "I've never heard anything quite like it."

I turned my eyes back to the floor and spoke as quietly as Fluttershy. "It's nothing out of the ordinary where I'm from..."

Rainbow propped her chin on her hoof. "What kind of name is Sara Cathrielle Gavril, anywhere? Way too long in my book. What does it even mean?"

She said Cathrielle wrong. She said it like Cath-rill when it's actually said like Cath-ree-ell. Frankly, I didn't think she would have cared so I kept my mouth shut.

"I was wondering the same thing," Twilight said, taking back the conversation, "as well as other things. First of all..." She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brow. "What _are you?"_

The words pulled themselves out of my throat with a detached attention. I barely recognized my voice. "My name is Sara Cathrielle Gavril and, boy, are you in for a ride."

* * *

**A/N: Uggggh it's short. Well, if you've reached this point and have been with me from the beginning, drop me a review and let me know what you think of the story so far. If you're new on board here, well, welcome! Please keep your hoofs, horns, and wings behind the fourth wall at all times. **

_Word Count: 2353  
_

_Character Count: __13222_

___My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (c) Hasbro  
_

___Everything else I missed (c) Everyone I forgot about  
_


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